Why Do They Always Send The Rookie First?

You don't have to curse to be threatening. Laser guns will do the job just fine.

That's Head Kitchen-Bitch...

Arc Two is coming and I've got all these Arc 1 comics to post. I'll see if I can post some artwork I did to show off the new look for Arc 2. Until then, enjoy the read.

Hidden Amongst The Lasers

Samurai Lunch Lady will laser beam your ass.

Here Today, Gone In 30 Milliseconds

Well, I'm back and better than ever (when it comes to comics, anyway). Arc 2 shall be beginning soon, so be prepared to be awed (or sick, whichever tickles your pickle).

Tether Even A Roasted Chicken

Samurai Lunch Lady time! Also, those red dots on her hat are laser sights, yes, Also Bob has a Wookie tattoo (W.W.C.D), and no, it is not going to end well for the proprietors of the prison. Kudos if you know what the title of this comic is a quote from.

I'll Have The Warden's Upside-Down Special A-La Flambe

Here's comic number 2. And yes, it's meant to be from an upside down POV, for all you persnickety perspective purists...

Under Covers Boss

Here is the first of  today's 2 part update. Sorry for the long wait, but on the bright side, Samurai Lunch Lady will be making her long awaited (but not really) appearance in Anton Evil Face's new world order.

Hey What Gives? Here's What:

Due to unforseen circumstances, (except for the love issues, those were foreseen) I will be posting 2 comics tomorrow to make up for yesterday's absence of an update. No worries, my pets, no more updates shall be disrupted henceforth (unless I find something better to do, you knew what this was)!

Just a little promo art I did with all of the strip's main characters in the first story arc. The promos will emulate the style/look of the story arcs, so enjoy this first one.

Ready As I'll Never Be

Sorry it took so long to post this, I've just been drained as f*ck lately...damn it, PB now you have me doing it. Anyway, I'll be posting a new wallpaper tomorrow in celebration of another year of not dying.

When The Going Gets Tough, Get Out Before You Mess Things Up Even More

Steve is quite the consummate monkey wrench (no pun intended). Pretty soon we'll be seeing how Samurai Lunch Lady has been doing in this mad new world. I dare say all you gratuitous violence fans will be very pleased. Until then, enjoy more debate on the pros and cons of eating your own clone.

Occupy Vast Open Spaces

Sorry about the delay in updating, I had a bit of a family emergency to attend to. Also, despite the title, I do support the Occupy Wall Street movement. Certainly a better cause than several I've seen.

Be Sure To Rotate Until Both Sides Crisp Evenly

This Wednesday's comic (or if you'd joined my shiny new Facebook page, last Monday's comic) was probably the least troublesome I've written in a while. For those of you who are wondering, yes, the morals for intelligent lifeforms in Dennis' dimension are a bit lax. As for the perpetual blue fire, well, anyone with a physics degree feel free to figure that one out. I'll just be here drawing more questionably aerodynamic machinery and ridiculously articulated masks.

Pride Comes Before A Fall, Debilitating Injuries Come After

All the best introspective monologues happen when you're in a fifty mile per hour vertical drop. 

Flight of the Hero

And that's how PB lost hard...

Commence Thine Fisticuffs Post Haste, Bro

Ah, the big showdown has arrived. I wonder how it ends....oh wait. Anyway, anyone who's reading this should use that nifty comment section under the comic and give lots of e-affirmations and/or hugs to my friend Johann, who is having a rough go of things right now. Cheer up, pal, things can't be worse than what's about to happen to PB.

This Pleases Gaga

If there are any Etsy users who frequent this site, feel free to make anything Pretty Boy related and send me the pics. I promise not to sue you. Much.

Score One For Realism

Everything's better with jet packs...well, except maybe jet pack explosions.

Carnage For Breakfast?

A Cuban breakfast is a lot like any other normal breakfast, only with Cuban bread, cafe con leche Cuban coffee with milk), and less of a chance of getting the sausage with a piece of bone in it. Also, I decided to give you guys an early page seeing as I totally forgot that it is now Tuesday. So enjoy (but don't make a habit out of it)!

Silenced Bedsprings

Ah, flashbacks. Great fil--I mean--back story. Yep, more back story.

If All Else Fails, Kill It With Fire

It's almost like Michael Bay hijacked this strip, only he did it before he could add any racist robots or nuanced slasher villains.

Hell Hath No Passive-Aggressiveness...

Wow, I'm getting close to 2000 views now. Also, no worries loyal fans, the art, as well as the story, changes at my whim. So pretty soon you may be seeing an all new art style along with an all-new story. When I'm all, as Shakespeare would say, whimsical and sh*t (or get some money for some decent art supplies, whichever comes first).

Does Duct Tape Cover Plasma Burns?

This is update is brought to you by, Insomnia. Because f*ck sleep.

Who Took The Jam Out Of Your Donut?

Jam is quite the violent one. This may be due to her upbringing, that and being molded into an unstoppable killing machine by a Bushido-practicing lunch lady. More on that to come... 

Remember, Remember When Rules 1 & 2 Meant Something

fgsfds

Cephalopods Are People(Ish) Too!

Oh, it's the one with my profile pic in it. Yay!

There's No "I" In 401K

Honestly, this comic has been the only thing that's kept me going the last couple of months. I hope you guys are enjoying how it's coming along.

How Far Is That Drop Out Of The Window?

Fun for the whole family. If that family cursed a lot.

Run Like Naraka

A little late updating today. Sorry about that, life has just been very...err...interesting lately. Yes, that'll do.

I Know Why The Caged Boy Sucks

Never anger a girl dressed as a ninja.

Pretty Boy # 18: Abolition Through Boobage

Reboot successful. Enjoy, humans!

Pretty Boy # 17: Judicature Through Boobage

Next week's strip will showcase major plot changes, so get your fill of generic white backgrounds and social ennui while it lasts (at least the generic white backgrounds part).

Pretty Boy # 16: Subjugation Through Boobage

Ah, digital manipulation, how you make the words look so pretty so we can focus more on the pseudo-chauvinism and spatula wielding ronin.

Pretty Boy # 15: Primate/Human Hybrid Shines

Police brutality: It's okay if it's on people who resemble fictional characters.

Pretty Boy # 14: Equanimity Through Boobage

You get the feeling there's more PG-13 boobage to come. You assume correctly.

Check out my friend Hedder Perez's awesome trailer for her new movie or so help me, I will sic the ferret on you!

Pretty Boy # 13: Camaraderie Through Boobage

The 13th strip being shown on a Friday... spooky....ish.

Pretty Boy # 12: They Did The Button Mash

The soul still burns...or is it the will of the warrior? I don't play many fighting games...

Pretty Boy # 11: There's No Crying In Fist Fights

Oh those tentacle monsters!

Pretty Boy # 10: Aw Hell Naw, Jerry!

Poor bastard... Also, wow that took up a lot of page space, but man is it legible!

Pretty Boy # 9: Tears Of A Creature

There's just no room for mourning in comics anymore... Well unless the person you're mourning has a red cape, a cowl, or spider pajamas.

Pretty Boy # 8: All Around The Mulberry Bush

Remember Ape Escape? Anyone? Anyone?

Pretty Boy # 7: Prioritize Me, Captain!

Ferrets just don't give a f*ck. Apparently...

Pretty Boy # 6: Rise of The Journey to Escape From Beneath the Battle for the Conquest of the Planet Where Apes Inhabit Amongst Other Creatures

This is Officer Steve, a chuman cop with a bit of a radical streak for his fellow (by a half) great apes. He's a bit of a prick though. Like most cops. And chimps. Also, I never really did get to apologize to you, the reader, for having to put up with the weird panels and illegible writing. Well no worries, dear readers, I shall soon be doing the writing and word bubbles digitally (and by soon, I mean all my new works), because even I can't read this without clicking on the image. Until then, keep enjoying my little labor of love.

Pretty Boy # 5: Further Study Is Needed

I have a very odd ideology. There are certain issues that I generally  lean liberal toward (marijuana, gay marriage, abortion) and there's certain things in which I lean conservative (execution, gun laws, finances), but either way I generally plead for decorum which is pretty much absent in politics nowadays. I say it's odd because generally I identify with anarchy, seeing as all government has eventually gone mad throughout history. Of course, if all human beings were actually capable of thinking for themselves, we wouldn't need government. My head hurts. Here's a comic.

Pretty Boy # 4: Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Tentacle Monster Bodies...

The one where Professor Higgen-Boson is having delusions of grandeur and annoys Pretty Boy. Also more tentacle monsters.

Pretty Boy # 3: Fear The Estrogen

This is the one where we are first introduced to Jam. She's pretty much the amalgamation of the positive qualities of all the women I've met over the years. Granted she's still quite possibly certifiably insane, but then again, aren't all women? I wouldn't recommend answering that unless you're single. I'm in enough trouble already for suggesting it.

Pretty Boy # 2: Rollin' With The Diz

I'll admit I 'm shitting on Marvel a bit for this one. Don't get it twisted though, I love Marvel and "How To Draw Comics The Marvel Way" is still the closest thing I consider to being a holy book, and I've spent hundreds of thousands of well-earned dollars on products with Marvel owned intellectual properties on them. Hell, I'm okay with them being owned by Disney.  This culture has an odd obsession with being angry at "sell-outs". I mean shitting on canon would be selling out, but making a wise business decision? Eh, but what do I know, I'd market this towards preschoolers if the pay was good enough (joking, of course....maybe).

Pretty Boy # 1: Coo Coo for Karma Police

So here's the first of hopefully many strips, weather, health, gradual suckage, and extra-dimensional invasions permitting. Today being a special occasion and all, I figured I'd glorify the values this country was based on, violence and the rapid availability of a nutritious breakfast. But enough about that, here's Pretty Boy, his roommate/ talking-mad scientist ferret, Professor Higgen-Boson, and a one-shot orange tentacle monster. Also, about the slight slant well, I had a bit of a situation with the scanner artistic freedom.